Hero's Lament

As you trek into the underdark
where lurid monsters dwell
or climb the highest peaks of ice
or into the planes of Hell.

Do not pack Elf chain for armor
or a cloak to ward off chills.
Just find some lucky dice my friend,
for a one in twenty kills.

A dragon breathes a burst of flame
that steel cannot withstand
and vampires have unholy bites
and undead to command.

But fire and fang you can combat
with bravery, wit, and skill,
but not if you can't roll for shit,
for a one in twenty kills.

You have slain the mighty dragon.
You have crushed the evil king.
You have claimed the crown of glory.
You have mastered Sauron's ring.

Though you have many triumphs
and a destiny to fulfill,
The best hero needs some loaded dice,
for a one in twenty kills.